Mixed Feelings (The Dying Logs Day 58)

I am happy as it seems in just two days my inflammation has trended downwards and my ears are better.

Very surprising considering the ear issue has been intense and going on for almost 2 weeks now.

However, I am saddened by how far I have to go. The intensity of emotions from cutting the benzo alone is going to be an experience.

And going through my email doesn’t help. I’ve been hoping that I can do low intensity work but even in the last year that’s out the window. Great for my chief income source when I’m better but I’m currently thinking hard about how I can make decent money while my brain is so trash.

I am optimistic however and genuinely grateful for a challenge that in many ways is an amalgam of the challenges I’ve faced healthwise throughout my life. Pertaintly, I know what to do to beat these symptoms 20 damn minutes at a time.

I am grateful for all of my blessings and frustrated with these significant issues. Can’t imagine feeling like much of a human for about 6 months and that’s assuming some luck.

End of the day, I know I’ll be stronger. Iron is the goal.