Room At The Top (The Dying Logs Day 1)

I’m writing in opiate withdrawal. That alone is something. Writing a novella too piece by piece. Man I had pages from rehab and when I threw up in a hotel they just trashed my stuff and those pages are forever lost.

Nevertheless, I’m still capturing a style like Bowies low. My literature is always inspired my non literature sources.

This is so hard. Its not like I don’t wonder why sometimes. But, it’s like a light shined down on me giving me not a second wind but something much deeper that will last forever. I wish I could word it better. Now any negativity is accepted and taken for what it is, and confusion is just life though I know I can also get to the bottom of certain things, change and come out with something beautiful.

Finally I have came to terms with life and I’ve realized no matter what there is always strength. Each day is fought and fatigue or preserverance is only a matter of the mind.

There’s this film which is the title of this article, Room at the Top. I’ll spoil it here so don’t read if you’re going to watch it.

The man had two women. One is 35, a drinker though wise and beautiful inside. He loves her. The other woman is very young, beautiful, and rich. He impregnates the young woman and thus the reluctant family allows marriage. The father gives him a great job with a promise of easy maneuvering further upwards.

The older women he loves tells the man to be himself, that he is powerful and beautiful. But he chooses the other women for the perks instead of love. It is implied this means spending the rest of his days as he is stoically in the quiet desperation of being a caricature of himself, filled with lies.

And the older women dies tragically, breaking his already hidden heart so bad it seems unlucky he will ever recover, never be himself or know true joy.

The ending is so phenomenal. One of the most underrated endings I’ve ever seen. Up there with something like the Graduates ending.

Before I show the ending let me talk about how this reflects me. I always will keep in mind truth and beauty, will always chose it and I know others will see it In me. The real me is beautiful. I have a big pure heart . No more darkness, no more letting this world hit me until I fall down. I am unbreakable and I will shed a tear if I see beauty lost because I know know know my love is beauty personified. We are hurt but we are not done. Not if we go to God.

I am thankful for today.